Is chaos the default?

Reflections on whether what has got me here will get me there

I am grateful for my physical and mental health.

It is very easy, when doing well physically & mentally, to want more more more: closer to a gymnast and closer to the best startup founders. You are constantly driving forward that you forget where you are right now, and how fortunate you are for that.

I would hate to diminish the “driving forward” — in my mind, striving for more and better is still virtuous.

However what I am learning is that there is a gulf of difference between driven by achieving the upside versus driven by failing at the downside.

I somewhat feel in my life as if I have reached the level, plateau’d, of my current thought processes and habit structures. Minorly successful and doing good things, intelligent, work hard, look good, charismatic.

So this saying resonates: “what has got you here won’t get you there”.

Do I want more to achieve yet more?

Do I think my current structures will empower me to do so?

If not, what needs to change?

This is the humility I now feel I have.

It is scary because I’m challenging “good” traits — ways of thinking which have brought me that which I now value. I’m not in crises in any sense, and change is always more justified in crisis.

And more so it’s scary because I fear if I loosen my grip then I will deteriorate to chaos.

Which prompts the question: is chaos the default outcome? What is the default outcome?

If I no longer believe the default outcome is chaos and mediocrity, if instead I now see my default as staying at a good level, then I am prompted:

Should I trust myself more?